my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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