If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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