Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i think i just lost a toe
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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