How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were trust falling into bushes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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