eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
