It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
