Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
