ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My penis needs a shock collar
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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