that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
