you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
