YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
