Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
