i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize