Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Panties = found
Randomize
