I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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