so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
