I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
