Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
