I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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