listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize