yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
