Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
