You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
