I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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