I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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