ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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