He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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