I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
