Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
