when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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