didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
