One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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