is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
