Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
