real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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