Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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