i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize