How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
