I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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