people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize