i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
