I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
