Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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