Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back

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(518): View more from New York

woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so

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(574): View more from Indiana

there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.

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(207): View more from Maine

I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.

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(972): View more from Texas

The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

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(907): View more from Alaska

Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...

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