im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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