Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
