theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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