Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
