You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
