Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize