we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
