office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
