well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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