I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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