In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
