I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
