well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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