Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
