He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i out mim tonsoeep
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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