mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just tell him i said nine months
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
