We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
