Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
